At 23:46 local time, an individual known only as Rutledge circulated an image of a man in a pink bomber jacket. The subject was immediately designated SVEN. A second operative asked the question that would destabilise the entire operation:
“He the manager? No sign.”
Within minutes, unrelated evidence emerged: a map of countries where suspicious salmon handling is a criminal offence; a theological crisis involving sentient motor vehicles; and a retail promotion in which the word DRUGS appeared to possess its own gravitational field.
Intelligence suggests the SLAGS are scattered across the United Kingdom. One operative is in Burnley. Several are allegedly in Charlton. Nobody has verified the headquarters.
FIELD OPERATIONS // NORTH ATLANTIC DIVISION
DOSSIER 001 — CLASSIFICATION: ABSURD
EYES ONLY
THE BARTELL CHRONICLESAN INVESTIGATION
OF QUESTIONABLE IMPORTANCE
OF QUESTIONABLE IMPORTANCE
A CLASSIFIED INTERACTIVE EXPERIENCE
THE SLAGS
PROTOCOL
A routine intelligence briefing has uncovered an alarming network of suspicious fish, unlicensed automotive theology, unexplained managerial authority and a geographically distributed group of individuals who may or may not be in Charlton.
YOUR MISSION: establish the facts, identify the suspects, and determine why everyone keeps mentioning a pink jacket. This operation is entirely fictional. Probably.
➜Sound is off until you press this.
We recommend pressing it. For operational reasons.
We recommend pressing it. For operational reasons.
HEADPHONES RECOMMENDED · NO ACTUAL SALMON WERE QUESTIONED DURING THIS INVESTIGATION
Mission briefing
LIVE INTELLIGENCECase files
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Case file
CASE 01INTELLIGENCE SUMMARY
THE SUSPECT
TAP TO EXAMINE EVIDENCE
OPERATIONAL STATUS: COMPLETE(ISH)
CASE
CLOSED.
500
TOTALLY UNVERIFIED INTELLIGENCE POINTS
The evidence has been filed. The questions remain. Sven has not been confirmed as manager.
OFFICIAL(ISH) SLAGS BUSINESS
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